Fall 09: Season For Fools

Fall 09: Season For Fools
A couple weeks have passed since my confounding incident with Derrick.. Since that time things have been anything but usual in that area. Before I touch on that though, I would like to go over just a couple things:

Starting with the VMA’s, I know, it’s old news now but I am not going to even touch the Kanye West and Taylor Swift issue. Instead, I would like to talk about Shakira and Pink who wound up in the same dress on the red carpet! Some one’s stylist is getting F-I-R-E-D. Speaking of same outfits, this next point really gets to me; Anna Wintour was caught wearing the same outfit twice on two separate occasions within the same month. (information courtesy of Perez) That’s four public appearances and only two outfits! Don’t get me wrong, for the every day woman that’s normal, that’s fine. Anna Wintour however, is not the everyday woman. I mean honestly she must have a closet in every single city she lands in. Some critics may say “well maybe her luggage was lost or delayed” to which I reply, do you honestly believe she flies commercial airlines and even if that was a possibility, she could walk into any boutique and have anything she wanted thrown at her feet as brown nosing sales staff fan her with palm leaves and hand feed her grapes. So Ms. Wintour, please be advised I do not wish to be encouraged by your attempt to relate to the modern day recessionista, nor do I appreciate your lack of effort to maintain the standards that you yourself made. Honestly I just bought my tickets to Alberta Fashion Week and I already have a tentative outfit planned out for each different show and possibly a change of outfit for the after parties. I can also Guarantee you I won’t be wearing any of those outfits to ARTwear at the AGC. Just incase, you never know who you will see again at another event. So If I can manage that then really….
I imagine myself scolding her like a puppy who got into the garbage ‘BAD! BAD Anna Wintour! You don’t do that!NnnnnnoO’

I’ve spent a lot of my personal alone time (which there has been an abundance of) going between blogs and sites like calgary-fashion.blogspot.com, Thebudgetfashionista.com, style.com, thebagblog.com (Really any site that would trigger me into a vicious shame cycle.) In my online window shopping I caught my first glances of Jimmy Choo for H&M. *Scream* This amazing collaboration will be in stores November 14th comprising of a full range of shoes, bags and accessories. They all look as you would imagine, like sex on 3 inch sticks. I decided to do some comparative research after wiping the drool. Christian Siriano (project runway winner) is teaming up with Payless Shoes for his own line as well due out in fall. Just as alluring but on the other side of the spectrum. Where Choo offers a more mainstream kind of sex, Siriano goes for his taboo, edgy “rough sex” on a 3 inch stick if you will. Both fantastic, affordable lines from well known, high end designers. Definitely something to look forward to.
One blog I read through, I can’t recall which one exactly but it had such an adorable idea. Hanging or framing your dresses around the house and your bedroom as installations or works of art. Again it was just adorable, very English summer home/ dollhouse. Why not do it though? We spend enough on gowns for weddings, Christmas events etc and afterwards they just end up taking room in the closet only because we can’t bare to part with them. I have always imagined myself one day when I am old, you would enter my french doors into my large 15 ft ceiling, marble floored, circular shaped foyer, shoes on top of pedestals, lined up along the curved walls, one to a window to illuminate them. All faced inwards towards my grand staircase where I could make my entrance to greet my guests. Ya it’s a bit of cheese but I have professed my love of old style glamour before.

I have been so online oriented lately as a distraction, I have been really really good lately, on my best behaviour. Dotting my t’s and crossing my I’s. More or less. I have had to make excuse after excuse to the girls as to why I am staying home on a Friday, then again on a Saturday. Budget has played a big part in my recluse ways but the other part has been Derrick. I will go over this quickly and possible in point form as I do not wish to give the situation much more thought or drama as has already been created.
So first off I gave in, conceding to the fact that I probably did over react, we continued to see each other on a non official basis for about a week, things were great, fun, attracting, showing potential. More so than I had originally thought or intended but I rolled with it. then all of a sudden I get this email: ‘ I need a big favor from you, and I hope you understand. Would it be ok if we took a 'time out' with us? I know that sucks and all but I need to figure some stuff out. It’s kinda crappy but before you I had three really shitty things happen with three different women’ he then continued, ‘You're awesome and this has zero to do with you and you've already put up with a bunch of my flakiness, which I appreciate. I'm just not 100% sure what to do and I don't want to be dragging you along while I figure this out.’

At first I was ok with it. No big deal. I thought it was somewhat sweet and honest. A little disappointing but not the end of the world. Fish in the sea and such. It was about three days later I started looking at the other side of the coin and asking questions and coming to conclusions, well maybe only theories. “Was this a dear john letter? A really good blow off, is this “time-out” his excuse to see someone else?” and on and on and on. I got angry thinking I had just been ultimately played a fool again and if that is the case then OMG I am ‘16 going on 17’ only plus ten. I am too old for this. I am tired of all this willy nilly running around, game playing. In the end I suppose you can’t spell manipulative without a man. Knowing this and being smart enough to know my own worth, here I have been for two weeks sitting around hiding out, hoping I can put my doubt in faith and he was sincere. What Is it about this guy that I already know I will give him another chance again if he comes around. I’ll say it again “give up the ghost” Rachel.

Xo
Rachel